Teaching and Learning about Social Skills at Home
Check out my You Tube channel for social skills movies, some of which were made in our school district!
http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCl1jncK79c_bNnrvmZ9uNgA
Active Listening/Making Connections/THINK
1.Practice active listening with your child. Instead of "Tell me about your day," try saying, "Let's talk about how our days were." This gives an opportunity to have a give and take of information instead of a monologue. It also enables you to model asking questions and making comments appropriate to the conversation. First tell your child that you'd like to have a conversation. Remind them to use Whole Body Listening and to ask questions and make comments. Remind them to THINK before they answer (Is it True, Helpful, Interesting to your Listener, Necessary, Kind).
"How was your day today? It was good, how about yours? It was very peaceful. What is something that was good today. Well I got to be the messenger. What do you do for that job? I get to bring papers to the office and to the nurse. That sounds fun. I didn't have to leave my office all day. That made me happy. Why don't you like to leave your office? I feel better when I get to get a big chunk of work done and don't have to run around. Oh, cool."
2. "Take a Seat, Make a Friend" - video from Soul Pancake. This video shows adults meeting each other in a ball pit in the middle of a sidewalk. Talk about how each pair: looks at each other in the eyes, looks uncomfortable at first, asks questions and makes comments.Once a "connection" is made, discuss how each pair then seems to relax, conversation runs more smoothly and they smile. Talk about examples of your child's friends or your own friends and how once there was a connection, you felt more comfortable and chose to be around those people more often.
3.Watch "Flummox and Friends." Discuss what was expected and unexpected in the communication between the Professor and his lab assistants and between Susie Swizzler and the scientists. Show how the people were just talking and talking without paying attention to their peers' reactions and without paying attention to their words. Show how it was different when the explorer guy was talking to them about what went wrong (right before In the Group, Out of the Group song.)
"How was your day today? It was good, how about yours? It was very peaceful. What is something that was good today. Well I got to be the messenger. What do you do for that job? I get to bring papers to the office and to the nurse. That sounds fun. I didn't have to leave my office all day. That made me happy. Why don't you like to leave your office? I feel better when I get to get a big chunk of work done and don't have to run around. Oh, cool."
2. "Take a Seat, Make a Friend" - video from Soul Pancake. This video shows adults meeting each other in a ball pit in the middle of a sidewalk. Talk about how each pair: looks at each other in the eyes, looks uncomfortable at first, asks questions and makes comments.Once a "connection" is made, discuss how each pair then seems to relax, conversation runs more smoothly and they smile. Talk about examples of your child's friends or your own friends and how once there was a connection, you felt more comfortable and chose to be around those people more often.
3.Watch "Flummox and Friends." Discuss what was expected and unexpected in the communication between the Professor and his lab assistants and between Susie Swizzler and the scientists. Show how the people were just talking and talking without paying attention to their peers' reactions and without paying attention to their words. Show how it was different when the explorer guy was talking to them about what went wrong (right before In the Group, Out of the Group song.)
"You are free to choose, but you are not free from the consequence of your choice."
1. Discuss different situations with your child in which the type of choice made can vary an outcome
2. Share experiences of your own
a. school work
b. being a bossy friend vs. being a fair friend
c. following through on a task given by a parent
d. using nice words and tone with a sibling vs. using an angry tone and words
e. driving in a car and speeding to get somewhere quickly vs. obeying traffic laws
3. How to Help at Home
a. When your child is upset because a privilege is taken away, a friend is angry, etc., discuss what happened.
Have them answer: What were you asked to do? What did you choose to do? What has happened now? What
do you think would have happened if you did what you were asked? Remember next time to take a second and
think about what will happen, before you make your choice.
4. Videos and Stories to illustrate this concept
a. The Three Little Pigs
b. The Boy Who Cried Wolf
c. Pixar's Birds on a Wire (on Youtube)
d. The Tortoise and the Hare
e. Louder Lili (check on Amazon)
2. Share experiences of your own
a. school work
b. being a bossy friend vs. being a fair friend
c. following through on a task given by a parent
d. using nice words and tone with a sibling vs. using an angry tone and words
e. driving in a car and speeding to get somewhere quickly vs. obeying traffic laws
3. How to Help at Home
a. When your child is upset because a privilege is taken away, a friend is angry, etc., discuss what happened.
Have them answer: What were you asked to do? What did you choose to do? What has happened now? What
do you think would have happened if you did what you were asked? Remember next time to take a second and
think about what will happen, before you make your choice.
4. Videos and Stories to illustrate this concept
a. The Three Little Pigs
b. The Boy Who Cried Wolf
c. Pixar's Birds on a Wire (on Youtube)
d. The Tortoise and the Hare
e. Louder Lili (check on Amazon)
"You can change how someone feels by what you say and what you do."
1. Videos and Books to illustrate this concept
a. Chrysanthemum - there are a range of emotions to discuss based on the little mouse's interactions with her
peers, parents and teachers. This book is probably in the library or at Barnes and Noble
b. "A Sincere Compliment" (2nd grade and up) - Video of high school kids on YouTube
-discuss the consequences of using mean words with others as opposed to using your voice to be positive
to others
c. "Kid President" - a series of videos on Youtube from a site called Soulpancake
d. Three Billy Goats Fluff - I got my book from Scholastic; discuss how the Troll made the goats feel when he
threatened to eat them, how the Troll felt after the goats treated him kindly, etc.
e. "Cayden and Colin - Sports Illustrated Kids" - Video on Facebook: Discuss how the older brother made his
younger brother feel by taking him on rides. Discuss how the older brother feels when people make rude
comments about his brother
f. "Flummox and Friends" - lots of incidences to point out in this Vimeo. Go to the Flummox and Friends web-site(*** The movie now has to be purchased, but is reasonably priced and worth the money!)
a. Chrysanthemum - there are a range of emotions to discuss based on the little mouse's interactions with her
peers, parents and teachers. This book is probably in the library or at Barnes and Noble
b. "A Sincere Compliment" (2nd grade and up) - Video of high school kids on YouTube
-discuss the consequences of using mean words with others as opposed to using your voice to be positive
to others
c. "Kid President" - a series of videos on Youtube from a site called Soulpancake
d. Three Billy Goats Fluff - I got my book from Scholastic; discuss how the Troll made the goats feel when he
threatened to eat them, how the Troll felt after the goats treated him kindly, etc.
e. "Cayden and Colin - Sports Illustrated Kids" - Video on Facebook: Discuss how the older brother made his
younger brother feel by taking him on rides. Discuss how the older brother feels when people make rude
comments about his brother
f. "Flummox and Friends" - lots of incidences to point out in this Vimeo. Go to the Flummox and Friends web-site(*** The movie now has to be purchased, but is reasonably priced and worth the money!)
Group Games to Build Social Skills
Social Skills Videos: Talking points, Questions, Tie-ins to Social LanguageFlummox and Friends – Excellent video showing key social skill themes of whole body listening, interrupting, keeping your brain and body in the group, etc. The kids love this video.http://www.flummoxandfriends.com/
Since this video is about a half hour long and broken in to segments, it can be viewed all at once or at three different times In each segment, there are tie-ins to: Expected and Unexpected Behaviors In the first segment, when Suzie Swizzler comes in with the cookies, do you notice anyone doing something unexpected? When someone brings us a treat or something nice, what do we expect will happen? You Can Change the way Someone feels by What you Say and What you Do When the professor was discussing his robot heads, how did his friends react? Did they seem excited? How did the professor feel about their reaction? Keeping your Brain and Your Body in the Group -the group is having a party; some of the friends are not sitting in the group; once they get there, they don't all have their brains in the group, but are thinking of their own private interests - How does Susie Swizzler feel when her friends aren't focusing on the party that she planned? Why does she feel that way? Who had trouble keeping their brain in the group? I sometimes have a hard time concentrating when I am a group. For instance...... Is it ever hard for you to stay focused when you're in a group. What can we do when that happens? Conversations - Active Listening When we have conversations, are we supposed to just tell all about our stuff and then our friend tells all about their stuff? No. In a conversation we go back and forth - take turns talking. We use Whole Body Listening and we ask questions and make comments. What do you notice about Milo and Wanda's conversation at the very beginning of the movie? Whole Body Listening Eyes on the speaker. Body turned toward speaker. Mouth quiet. Hands and body still. Who did you see that used Whole Body Listening when someone was speaking? Who did not use good eye contact? Who had their body turned away from the speaker? Who was making noise when someone else was trying to speak? Were these things helpful or hurtful? Main Idea or Problem in the Video What was the main problem in this movie and what was the solution? Did the solution work? What else could the friends have done to make Suzie Swizzler feel better? Parent Follow-up ***** Now that you've seen the video and made it more meaningful for your child be discussing it. Make sure you reference it should the opportunity arise. This will help your child make even more meaningful connections between what he's seen on a movie and what happens in real life. |
Take a Seat - Make a Friend
From Soul Pancake, in this video, a ball pit is set up on a city street. Random adults sit in the ball pit and begin the process of getting to know each other. Some of the balls have conversation starters on them. This video is good for showing children how to interact with new people and to find connections and that those connections can be the start of a friendship. Making connections also ties in with our district's use of Responsive Classroom. Recently, I referenced this video with some fifth graders who will be starting at the middle school in the fall and will meet children from three other elementary schools. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfHV4-N2LxQ&list=PLzvRx_johoA8PC6S5k5S2SszRQOR8oSEa Taking a Risk Many people are nervous when meeting new people, yet still go ahead and do it. How did these people start talking to each other? What was on the balls that helped them get to know each other? What kinds of things could you ask a new child that you meet? Making Connections How do you think the people felt when they first started talking in the ball pit? How could you tell? What are some of the connections the people made? Did you notice any changes in the people's facial expressions and body language after they made a connection? One time when I was at ____, I made a new friend for the day. (Discuss) Do you remember a time when you met a new friend for the day? Tell me about how you felt. Whole Body Listening How did the people in the ball pit do with eye contact and whole body listening? How did they do with active listening - answering questions and making comments? When you watched did you think with your eyes? Tell me about the emotions you saw. Parent Follow-up ****** Next time you go out for a family outing, to a park, to a beach. Encourage your child to talk to other children. Prep her or him by coming up with some "conversation starters" relevant to the situation. Remind them to use active listening in their conversations. Mr. Bean videos – preview first, some can be a little inappropriate. These videos are good for identifying emotions, perspective-taking, inferencing, and expected and unexpected behaviors. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1qXYwDNIg0 Wallace and Grommit Videos – good for perspective-taking and identifying emotions http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJDhmlMQT60 Pixar Short Film: For the Birds - This is a wonderful video to show unexpected behavior, bullying, the need to stick up for others, consequences of negative behavior and so much more. Very funny and very cute. I still remember watching it at the theater when we saw Monster's Inc. It was the "short" before the movie. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHUgdwyxTF0 Expected and Unexpected Behaviors Classroom Manners - Can You Teach My Alligator Manners? - Disney Junior Many of the kids had seen this on t.v. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_hcV8d-tc4 Sesame Street: Mila Kunis: Include Very cute video teaching children how important it is to include others in their play and activities. Featuring Elmo. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTXzYX0rrPE Sesame Street: Mark Ruffalo: Empathy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_1Rt1R4xbM&list=PL5CC7BD3ED42AFBD5&index=3 Positive Behaviors.com by Elementary School Counseling.org; various video clips for social skills http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5CC7BD3ED42AFBD5&feature=plpp SoulPancake - SoulPancake has amazing videos featuring people connecting in sometimes unusual ways. There is also a very funny and adorable boy called "Kid President" whose mission is to get people to help others have an "awesome year." Love him. http://www.youtube.com/user/soulpancake |